How To Stop Being Afraid Of Getting Cheated On
Getting cheated on is a huge fear for a lot of people, and if you've been struggling with this fear, you might be wondering how to stop being afraid of getting cheated on. Here are all the things that completely shifted my mindset around this.
This post contains affiliate links. I may receive a commission from purchases at no extra cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.
*I don't ever use AI on this website for anything! All content you see on Ryality is 100% human-created. Thank you for supporting real, human creators. <3
As someone who used to be super anxiously attached, I used to spend a lot of time wondering how to stop being afraid of getting cheated on. I would spend a lot of my time trying to make it feel more in my control, like re-reading a days worth of texts at the end of the day looking for any tiny changes in my partner's tone, going through their Instagram following, etc.
Eventually, I found ways to get over that fear, and now I live a much more peaceful existence. Here are the things that completely changed my mindset around it and made me stop being afraid of getting cheated on.
This post is all about how to stop being afraid of being cheated on.
How To Stop Being Afraid Of Being Cheated On
1. Know That Rotten Fruit Always Falls On Its Own
I was watching a Youtube video once, and in the video, they said "rotten fruit always falls on its own," and hearing that felt like the biggest epiphany ever about my fear of being cheated on. I was like "wait, that's so true."
If someone is doing something behind your back or betraying you in some way or another, rotten fruit always falls on its own. There's nothing you need to do to check or try to control the situation. The rotten fruit WILL fall.
2. Think Of Yourself Like A Cake
One of the fears a lot of people have when it comes to being cheated on is that their partner will find somone better. This is when it is helpful to think of yourself as a cake.
To make a cake, you have to bake in so many different ingredients to make that specific type of cake. You're the same way. There are so many unique things about you that make up your specific cake. Maybe some people have the same individual ingredients, but no one has the particular makeup of YOUR cake.
For example, some parts that make up my cake:
- I am an eldest daughter/ older sister
- I have a business degree
- I have long dark eyelashes
- I have a dog
- I love psychology
- I have a blog
- I post on TikTok
- I'm a good listener
There's obviously a lot more to me than just that, but those are a few of my "ingredients," and there is no one on earth who has the same EXACT combo of ingredients that make up my cake.
Related Post: How To Stop Obsessing Over What Your Partner Is Doing All The Time
All that to say, you have many good things that make you special and unique, and there's no one who is exactly like you. All the little things about you, every little thing that has shaped who you are, has made you into your own very special flavor of cake that no one else can replicate.
3. Recognize That You Have Better Things To Do With Your Life Than Worrying About Someone Else
One of the main things that brought me out of my fear of being cheated on and the constant monitoring/ worrying that came along with that was realizing that I was literally wasting my time.
Take a second and think about all the things you'd like to achieve in your life. Now think about the potential of squandering your own potential because instead of using your energy to work towards those goals, you spent all your life force worrying about what someone else is doing.
That thought is terrifying to me. The idea of not doing what I was put here on earth to do just because I was too concerned with someone else strikes fear in my heart.
Related Post: 8 Unhinged Things I Did To Heal My Attachment Style
4. Make A "Single Life" Pinterest Vision Board
One reason many people are afraid of getting cheated on is that single life sounds like a worse alternative to being in a relationship.
Making a vision board romanticizing single life really helped me to realize that even if I did get cheated on, breaking up and being single actually wasn't that scary of an option after all. It could actually be really nice.
Here's a picture I have saved on mine:
Making this board, going out of your way to find pictures for it, and looking at them regularly will help your brain get comfy with the reality that life as a single person can actually be very lovely, wonderful, and fulfilling.
5. Know That Getting Cheated On Is Not The End Of The World
This kind of goes along with the last point. If you want to stop being afraid of getting cheated on, you need to make the decision that you're going to have a nice, beautiful, wonderful, good life, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not. Getting cheated on is not the end of the world.
I've heard so many stories of people being really grateful for the fact that their ex cheated on them, because it made it possible for them to be living the better life they're living now. Sometimes getting cheated on is actually the universe saving your ass.
Related Post: Quotes That Altered My Brain Chemistry This Week
6. You Don't Have To Be Hypervigilant If You're Leaving Either Way If It Does Happen
I saw this on my Pinterest one time, and it is SO true.
Once you adopt this mindset and decide you're going to have self respect and follow through if it does happen and that you're leaving either way, you realize there's not really a point in doing all the monitoring and controlling.
7. Don't Date People With A History Of Cheating
A research study done in 2017 called "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships" by Kayla Knopp found that people who were unfaithful in one relationship were three times as likely to be unfaithful in their next, compared to people who hadn't cheated in their first relationship. The fact that they'd cheated before wasn't always an indicator that they would cheat again, but it did make it statistically more likely.
I personally would not choose to date someone with a history of cheating because of this. Yes, people can change, but even outside of the increased statistical likelihood that they'd cheat again, I would have a hard time feeling at peace with someone I knew had a history of cheating.
Related Post: How To Change Your Life For The Better IMMEDIATELY
It can already be a difficult thing to trust your partner as someone who is afraid of being cheated on, and starting off with wobbly trust because of the knowledge that they've cheated before is not conducive to a foundation of feeling trust and peace with your partner, in my opinion, so I wouldn't do it.
8. What You're Afraid Of Might Never Happen
According to this article on the demographics of infidelity in America, 20% of men and 13% of women reported cheating in their marriages. Some other statistics play into this, like age and such, but in a society where the "all men cheat" narrative is pushed A LOT, this is a hopeful statistic for those of us with a fear of being cheated on.
If you pair these stats with the stats that people who have cheated before are more likely to cheat, if you're with someone who doesn't have a history of cheating, this can give you a bit of reassurance (at least it does for me).
There is a good chance your partner won't cheat.
9. The Time You Spend Monitoring & Controlling Is Wasted Either Way
If they don't end up cheating, all the time spent stalking their location, going through their Instagram following, going through their phone, etc. was a total waste of your time.
If they DO end up cheating...it was also a waste of your time because doing all of that didn't do anything to stop it from happening.
People are going to do what they want to do, and no amount of effort trying to keep someone from doing something, or trying to force them into being a certain way, does any good. All it achieves is you spending a lot of time on something that isn't improving your life in any way, shape, or form.
I hope this post helped you with your fear of being cheated on! It's not easy, but it is possible to change your mindset and shift your perspective so you can live a peaceful, fulfilling life where you're not constantly preoccupied with the idea of being cheated on.
This post was all about how to stop being afraid of getting cheated on.
More Posts You'll Love:
8 Unhinged Things I Did To Heal My Attachment Style
How To Stop Obsessing Over What Your Partner Is Doing All The Time
How To Change Your Life For The Better IMMEDIATELY
If you liked this post and would like to be notified of the next time I post, be sure to subscribe by hitting the button below! See you next time! 🙂