How To Change Your Life For The Better IMMEDIATELY
In a society where it is very normalized to be unhappy with your life, creating positive change can be difficult. If you're really serious about changing your life for the better, here's how to do it.
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If you’re like me, you may have been raised to believe that being unhappy with your life, career, relationships, etc, is normal and expected. Throughout your life, society has probably reaffirmed this belief. In a world full of people who don’t expect much for themselves in terms of living a good, happy life, deciding you want something different for yourself can be quite a radical act.
If most people are miserable with their lives, and you live your life like them and take their advice, where does that mean you’re heading? Straight to a miserable life. If you want to have a different life, you have to choose differently. If you want to change your life for the better immediately and create a life for yourself that you genuinely love, here are the steps you’re going to take.
This post is how to change your life for the better immediately.
How To Change Your Life For The Better Immediately
The Bedtime Routine Most People Have And Why It’s So Detrimental
The time right before you fall asleep is one of the most influential times of the day for your subconscious mind. When you’re going to sleep, your brain slips into slower brainwave states (such as alpha and theta), which is when you are the most suggestible. It is the easiest to train your brain into different beliefs when you are in these states because you have direct access to your subconscious mind, which isn’t something you have a lot during the waking hours. So, what you’re thinking about as you’re falling asleep is incredibly important, as it directly impacts your subconscious mind, which in turn affects your attitudes and beliefs about life.
What do most people think about as they’re falling asleep? What went wrong during their day. I think all of us are familiar with doing this. It is the default for most people. However, in doing this, you are literally training your brain to look for all the things that go WRONG during your day. So in turn, you will notice those things more easily throughout the day, and give those occurrences more weight.
This doesn’t mean that more bad things happen during your days than good. However, it might feel that way because that is what you’ve trained your brain to focus on.
The Bedtime Ritual That Will Immediately Shift Your Perspective And Make You Feel Better: Think About What Went Right That Day
So, we’ve already covered that in doing what MOST people do, we will be creating the same outcome as most people, which is being miserable. If we want to have a different, better life, we have to make different choices. This simple fix/ change will have immediate results.
Instead of thinking about everything that went wrong during the day as you’re falling asleep, intentionally start thinking about everything that went right. I learned of this technique from psychiatrist and brain health specialist Dr. Amen (who is brilliant, and I highly recommend checking out his content).
I haven't personally read this book of his yet, but I absolutely love his videos on Tiktok, so it is on my list!
The shift that this small change will cause in your perspective is astonishing. You will suddenly start to notice and acknowledge a slew of good things that happened during your day that you weren’t even aware of before. Maybe your coffee tasted just right that morning. Maybe someone went out of their way to hold a door for you. Maybe you arrived on time to wherever you were going.
In making this shift, you are slowly rewiring your brain to look for all the good things during the day, and you’ll start noticing more and more things that go right in your days that you never noticed before. I can say from my personal experience of practicing this that it makes you feel much more grateful and happy with your life as a whole.
A Step Further: Looking For Positive Aspects When Things Go “Wrong.”
Similarly, you can start applying this logic when things do go “wrong.” This practice is a little more difficult because you have to get past your initial negative emotions about things, but once you’re able to master it, it is game-changing.
An Example From My Own Life
For example, recently, my car got broken into. They shattered my window and ripped out my steering column, trying to steal it. When I discovered the aftermath, my car was still drivable (thank goodness), but I was missing a window. I had a road trip I’d been planning to go on for months, and this caused a delay until I could get my window replaced.
After delaying my trip for over a week, I finally did get my window replaced. They had some issues with the replacement, and advised me not to roll the window down, or else I would risk breaking the glass. I was fine with that because at least I had a window and could finally leave for my trip.
I got my car all loaded up the next morning, and my dog and I were getting in my car and saying goodbye to my boyfriend. I got in the car to start it, and low and behold— it wouldn’t start.
Now, before I started this practice of looking for what went right/ positive aspects of situations, if this happened, I would have absolutely crashed out and spiraled. And I did, for a second. For a quick moment, I was overtaken with thoughts of “why me,” “what have I done to deserve this,” and so on and so forth. However, within an hour, I was able to pull myself out of this mode of thinking and come back to a better, more peaceful place within myself. Coming back to this space also made it so that I could think more reasonably and come up with better solutions to my problem than I would have been able to if I’d have continued in the downward spiral.
The Point Isn’t To Never Have Any Negative Emotions, The Point Is To Return To Baseline Much Quicker
The point of this practice isn’t to never have any kind of negative feelings or emotions, because let’s be honest, life happens. The point is that you will be much more resilient any negative feelings you might experience. It will become much less likely for you to fall into a negative spiral to the point of no return. When you do feel bad, it will be much easier for you to return to baseline (feeling good about your life) much quicker.
So, as an example of this practice, here are the positive aspects and things that went right with my car situation:
Things That Went Right With My Car Situation
- The person wasn’t able to steal my car. I still have a car.
- The people who fixed my window were really nice and we had good conversation.
- I’m in a financial position to be able to pay for the repairs without much worry.
- My car stopped working BEFORE my road trip, rather than breaking down in the middle of nowhere where I would have been stranded with my dog.
- I have a boyfriend who has been really helpful and supportive in helping me figure things out, and who has driven me anywhere I needed to go while I haven’t had my car.
- Similarly, I have a dad who I can call to get advice and help from.
- The situation gave me the opportunity to have my car looked over to make sure everything is safe and good to go.
- I live in a world where people work on cars for a living, and they have the expertise to get my car running as quickly as possible.
- My car has been amazing and given me very few problems for the past 8 years.
- The mechanic I took my car to is doing a 20% off deal.
And so on and so forth. There is always SOMETHING good, even in the worst, most inconvenient situations.
How Your Life Will Change Immediately
Once you’re able to shift your perspective from what is going wrong to what is going right, you will feel so much better about your life, and consequently, your life will BE better. You will start attracting good things into your life because you’re able to acknowledge, and feel gratitude for, all the blessings you already have. The good things have been there all this time, you’ve just never put your focus on them before.
Don’t Expect Perfection From Yourself Immediately
It is a process and a practice, and the negativity/ former ways of thinking might still snag you sometimes (like they did for me in my car example). But when you practice looking for the good things, even when it’s hard (especially when it’s hard), little by little, you train your brain to look for the good things more, and before you know it, your default mode of being will get closer and closer to happiness, gratitude, and a genuine love for life. The “bad” things will bother you a lot less, and you’ll be able to see the good in everything, even situations that seem bad at first.
If you do all this, you will feel better and better, and as a result, you’ll notice your life getting better and better.
This post was all about how to change your life for the better immediately.
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